Distance today: 77km
Total distance to date: 520km
Temperature (max): 27°C, and soupy humid.
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We met the first cycle tourist since arriving. Michelle is travelling solo in the opposite direction so we stopped roadside to exchange stories, routes & experiences. When travelling the way we are, meeting like-minded cyclists lifts our spirits and brightens our day. Thank you Michelle!

After we said our goodbyes we had a stellar ride.  We caught great views of the ocean and while we stood roadside gaping, we noticed a few Vietnamese tourists gaping at us while sneaking in a little video. We suppose it makes us part of their scenery

When mountains & ocean drifted into our past, we then found ourselves riding on a flat, paved road along endless rice paddies that extended as far as the eye could see and might even  convince you the earth really is flat. Not only might it be flat but it’s also windy. Like, blowin’-the-hair-off-your-head headwind reducing our speed to 9 or 10km per hour. Then it drizzled. Wind and drizzle. Nevermind though—we were already saturated from the humidity so a little drizzle? Ha! We scoff at drizzle now

Today was all about scenery. Glorious, lush mountains, waves from the sea rolling onto shore, and green-on-steroids rice paddies. At  times we were all alone in the vastness of it and the beauty & the silence were brilliant. Water buffalo form part of that scenery. We saw them everywhere, loitering at the side of the road just like cows and random chickens do. Those big menacing horns are for show. They are gentle, docile spirits just minding their own biz.

We splurged on a hotel—$47–and are luxuriating in a splendidly decorated hotel with floors so gleaming & grand it feels like a palace. But most marvellous is their menu—Tonight  its hamburger & fries and pizza! No mo’ Pho!

Our fancy-pants hotel. It’s really spectacular! $50 goes a long way toward luxury.

Distance today: 64km
Total distance to date: 443km
Temperature (max): Don’t know—Humid. Really humid.
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We moaned. We groaned. We questioned our sanity and why we are here. We fantasized hopping on a flight to Thailand. The battle with big rigs on the highway combined with three nights in a row in a hotel-wasteland and the relentless search for some good solid food other than Pho, zapped us. Our mojo was gone. Enthusiasm depleted. There was an ocean literally in front of the hotel but we couldn’t see it for the foggy mist—or the construction torn road, the decaying relics of an amusement park, and dilapidated utility buildings. We consoled ourselves in a restaurant where we, along with four ratty rats, were the only patrons. We woke up in the morning with two options on the table—hop a flight to Saigon at the regional airport just 6 km away or continue our travels southward as planned. We needed a win.

We came here to see it all. We will not bail. With resolve and hope, we decided to roll on hoping for a sign from the universe that it was the right choice.

The road was bliss. Beautiful road surface, big wide lane to ride, zigzag, wibble-wobble on bikes at will with barely any vehicles. Frequently we had the entire road to ourselves. We found glorious frosty cold ice-cream, we saw lush green mountains—and when we rolled into town we stopped at the first hotel we happened upon and it was gorgeous! No searching. It just opened three months ago, and is manicured with lush tropical gardens—all for a measly $25. They are preparing for what appears to be a wedding party this evening. We will sit outside on lovely little cafe chairs watching the festivities with the interest of a small child.

PS. As we watch guests arrive for the celebration, situated in the far corner of the courtyard, little groups of young girls have discovered “the foreigners” and approach us very tentatively to look and to shyly say hello. They disappear only to re-emerge with a few more friends for some Show‘n Tell. It warms our hearts.

About the food
We are open minded and understand that in some countries you will see dog and cat meat on the menu. We withhold judgement but have memorized the words (thịt cho and thịt mèo) and take care to avoid them. But when we ride by an outdoor BBQ at the side of the street and there’s thịt cho rotating around a rotisserie it’s really hard (impossible) to unsee—no sign was necessary to identify it. We have also seen toads and eel at the markets, and have heard that pigeon is also a thing. We could really go for some pizza….

Is this a thing at home? Can you buy padded-bum shorts?

Distance today: 86km
Total distance to date: 379km
Temperature (max): 29.8°C
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Having cycled about 6,000 km in Cuba and Thailand on three different tours, we have never had a flat tire. Today we woke up to a flat. Like greased lightning Randy had the wheel off and located the offender—not just one, but two small pieces of metal embedded in the tire.

We rolled out into the misty morning fog—we’re talkin’ heavy, wet, make-your-handlebars-slimy mist that just hung in the air and made us drip. We couldn’t see the hills in front of us and we pretty much had the road to ourselves for while. A few kilometres later came an unusual looking motorcycle with a contraption on the back of it. We noticed a gigantic 6ft wide magnet was affixed to the back and was sweeping the side of the road for metal fragments. It was low-tech magnificence and we both appreciated the genius of it, wishing one of those would clean our roads at home!

Later, when the sun came out and the day really started heating up we took our chances on a dubious little road through a village just to escape some gnarly traffic mayhem. It was all lalalalala…until it wasn’t.  “Woof woof wooof arff arfff wooof what-the-heck!”  — Just keep goin! Look ahead! Don’t stop! OMG! Randy dismounted to stare the dog down but it was a war of wills. Randy won that battle. Not five minutes later the scene played out again. Then again. By that time we were unnerved and stood there paralyzed, mentally calculating how to escape this village of crazy dogs and return to the preferable highway mayhem again. As we stood there, wishing we could teleport ourselves away, out of the corner of my eye I spotted an older Vietnamese man standing in his doorway trying to snap some incognito shots of the crazy first-time-for-everything-foreigners-in-the-village.

People sneak pictures of us at every angle—passengers (sometimes the drivers) of passing motorcycles, teenagers lucky enough to have cell phones—and the ice cream guy. We stopped (rather, came to a screeching halt) when we noticed an ice cream parlour. We each ordered up a chocolate Sundae. Then another. Then another (for Randy). Five in total, to be exact. As we are slurping away, the ice cream guy tentatively approaches with camera in hand. We put on our biggest smiley faces and it became a paparazzi moment. Ice Cream Guy’s girlfriend saw her opportunity and she too came to snap a picture of The Foreigners.

But today wasn’t really about flat tires, dogs or ice cream. What really seared itself into our innards was the car honking. Little toots, bleeps & beeps we can handle. It’s the soul crunching booming, bellowing, heart-stopping blasts from every single passing truck and bus that penetrates the blood-brain barrier and traumatizes our eardrums. They aren’t just occasional thunderbolts into our sound-sphere. Every truck or bus lays on the horn as though they want to notify humanity that they are about to drive off the edge of planet earth. We get it—they want (need) to announce their approach from behind as they pass.  But when you get a transport, right beside a megalith bus and they are both passing you at the same time, blaaaaaaastity blast blaaaaaast—it feels like there’s about six tones of angry metal right above your head.

Maybe a few barking dogs on back roads aren’t so bad afterall…

Distance today: 74km
Total distance to date: 293km
Temperature (max): 28.6°C
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We spent time on the highway today (so did a random herd of cows, but we’ll get to that.). When possible, we seek out roads less travelled and today we found ourselves riding along the seashore’s edge, with barely another car or human into be found. We are a peculiar sight, and don’t go unnoticed. Five young men were out walking and in addition to the usual enthusiastic “Hellloooooos”  this group wanted to shake hands and get pictures with Randy (it’s that snazzy masterpiece haircut of his). In an instant, Randy became a celebrity! Laughter and smiles are a universal language—Tùng Sơn and I  became “Facebook Friends” before we continued on our way.

Our apprehension about busy intersections and crossing multi-lane roadways has disappeared. For safety reasons we have opted to not wear rear-view mirrors—the hazards are all in front of us and that’s where our attention must be—left, right, and oncoming in our lane. Knowing what’s behind might make us flinch and worse yet, stop. Traffic moves around us like a school of fish, and we are fishes too. And it’s beginning to make sense!

Cows here also understand traffic dynamics. Tonight while at dinner about 15 cows caught our eye as they were walking down the centre of a very wide road. They walked far, never veering out of the painted lines on the road. That alone is random enough, but these cows had no supervision, restraints, or guidance that we could see, yet they seemed to possess a sense of direction and hazard avoidance.

We came here to see everything, not just the pretty attractions. Today we saw industrial facilities and busy roads and admittedly it was a slog. We found a little gem of a hotel at the end of a very long stretch of an impressively sprawling steel manufacturing area. Tired and overheated (humidity is picking up!) we are thrilled to be off the bike and resting up for whatever tomorrow may bring

One of the tiny roads “Ride With GPS” thinks we should take.

Pho—for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Randy’s moment of fame

Distance today: 91km
Total distance to date: 219km
Temperature (max): 29°C
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Randy is the NavCom guy. He operates the Garmin with its previously loaded Vietnam maps. Sometimes it shocks us, successfully taking us down twisty turny itty bitty paths and alleyways. Today it had us squeezing through a crack-in-between-two-buildings that it somehow knew about. Sometimes it lets us down (honestly, it’s rather frequent). Like seriously, just because someone once walked a cow down a dusty, gravelly groove in between two rice paddies, we wouldn’t necessarily qualify it as a navigatable route, but Garmin does! Today we were sent down a road-to-nowhere (again). A man came along on his motorcycle and through a series of hand gestures and charades, he generously invited us to his house. He was one of two separate individuals who in the space of 30 minutes invited us to their homes for some Vietnamese hospitality.

Also on that road-to-nowhere some neighbourhood kids were out just pedalling about and spotted us—and from that moment on they decided they were going where we were going! We became aware that we had a peleton of six Vietnamese children in tow. The “leader” of their little gang was a 12 -year old riding a rickety old bike with a big basket on the front. At one point a few dogs came out to run alongside us too and the kids all picked up speed yelling “Dog! Dog!”  All of us gave ‘er & outran those friendly pooches. The kids & us—we were now a gang of eight. The kids were giggling with delight, laughing & trying hard to keep up. Their leader, the twelve year old, rode alongside us, asking a few simple questions using up what might well be his entire English vocabulary in two questions. When I looked over at him he had the biggest grin on his face, “I. am. happy.” he announced. I let him know “I am happy too!” We ride on a little further, and I could sense he was thrilled to be keeping the pace  I looked over and again with an even bigger smile he repeated, “I. am. happy.” prior to us parting ways.

We got back on route and headed to our final destination, Sam Son.  It’s a beach town and would be our first sighting of the ocean so we pushed the distance today. The last 20 km threw a strong headwind at us that left us wind-whipped & tired. The ocean was there—but there is literally nobody around—empty hotels, empty houses, miles & miles of resorts either vacant or under construction and we can walk down the middle of the road. It has a distinct ghost town feel. We actually wondered if the town had been evacuated for some weird reason?  No matter. We are here for the adventure and We. Are. Happy.

The teeny tiny space between two buildings that Garmin sent us through

No riding today. We are in Ninh Binh playing tourist at a gorgeous resort planted against a scenic limestone rock face landscape near the village of Ninh Binh. It’s a UNESCO World Heritage site, and surrounding limestone “mountains”, are literally steps from our door. It’s been breezy, overcast, and warm but not hot—it feels just about perfect to be out cruising the water in a slow boat, and climbing into crevices of caves.

Our vessel for navigating the water under the caves was a shallow metal rowboat propelled by a Vietnamese lady who manually rowed us the whole way there and back. She (and the other boat operators) are clearly very adept—they use their legs & feet to expertly manipulate the oars into the desired direction with just the right speed. It makes our leg muscles sore just looking at them. She probably rowed for 90 minutes or more.

One of the places we visited was a temple.  Workers were busy assembling a very large (in both size and quantity) number of what looks like festive paper piñatas resembling royal horseman, elaborately decorated canoes, and other shapes. Colorful vibrant paper adornments were being meticulous applied, and there were lots of them.  It appeared they were preparing for something or someone significant.  We asked a nearby bystander who explained their belief that the afterlife resembles the world of the living, and all these preparations will be burned in order that monks who have previously passed may receive them.

In Buddhism, symbolic offerings are made to “give rise to contemplative gratitude and inspiration”.  Material offerings involve simple objects such as a candles, fruit, flowers, water or drinks. In many locations of worship we have seen these gifts, and more—including instant coffee. (Hey….we both want coffee in our afterlife).

Let’s talk accommodations. We have no itinerary, so each afternoon we pause roadside and use a hotel booking service (Booking.com or Agoda) to find something that suits our mood and we press the “Go” button. We’ve stayed in three different places —Hanoi for $47 a night (no breakfast), Phu Ly for $35 including breakfast for two, and last night for $50 including breakfast—a little pricier due to our touristy location. The rooms have been clean and all have had mini-fridges, kettles, coffee, tea and free bottled water, and king size beds.

Now we let the pictures do the talking.

Distance today: 57km
Total distance to date: 128km

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We saw an unassuming barber shop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Just a l’il ol’ space where Randy thought he’d get a quick haircut and be he on his way, zippity zap fast. I mean afterall, what sort of coif can he really even expect? The well-coiffed-himself barber seemed enthusiastic and next thing you know he made a Project out of Randy’s hair. That hair virtuoso set about like Edward Scissorhands, sculpting his masterpiece out of Randy’s abundant hair. Scissors, comb, and clippers were a flyin’! We were both enormously impressed. I go wait outside—should just be a few minutes I’m sure. I peek in and he’s got a straight razor out, and having shaved Randy’s entire face, he’s now meticulously refining the hairline all around his forehead and I’m thinking this guy’s an artist! I return to my waiting spot outside and a short time later I hear Randy, sounding all vulnerable and scared “Anita! Come here—I think he’s cleaning ear wax out of my ears!” Lo ‘n behold, Mr. Hair Virtuoso has a 6-million lumens headlamp on his head, peering into Randy’s ear and what looks like a collection of dental-like instruments in front of him. He’s not only trimming ear hairs but Randy’s not leaving there with ear wax. Swish, scrape, poke, prod, repeat. His fight or flight response was activated and I think he might have been whimpering but won’t admit it. It’s a thing here in Vietnam when you get a proper haircut—don’t flinch! Cost of the Hair Project: $2.75 (plus he gave a $5 tip) Time spent on Project: 1-hour.

Back on the road—the Garmin navigational wizard took us down raised pathways in between rice paddies, along lumpy bumpy footpaths, and through tiny villages that time seems to have forgotten. Cows randomly graze and loiter at the sides of roads, including edges of rice paddies. Two big—pointy-horned bovines entitled themselves to a leisurely rest on both sides of the path we were travelling, too close for our comfort. Are they docile? Maybe. Maybe not. We did a U-turn.

While sitting roadside snacking, a young boy (11-years old) rode by us a few times on his bicycle. The third time he stopped in front of us. “Hello. what. is. your. name?” He asked. Very sweet. We could see he wanted to try out his learned English on those interesting looking foreigners. He rode away and reappeared minutes later “How. old. are. you?” We told him 58 and 63. “Ohhhh. You. are. very. old”. (Try not to laugh) We think he wanted to stay and look at us longer but didn’t know any more English questions to ask. As we were leaving he passed by us again with his baby sister on the back of his bike, likely wanting to show her, too, those foreigners.

PS: Randy thinks he can hear a little better now.

Pho. Fo breakfast.

The well-coiffed Hair Virtuoso

The unassuming barber shop in the middle of nowhere.

Distance today: 71km
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The heebies melted and the jeebies faded. The Grand Plan delivered! We woke up at 3am and gulped at the prospect of cycling out of Hanoi, both admitting we’ve never been so flippin nervous about a ride. But the streets were gloriously quiet under the cover of sleepy darkness and with each successful intersection-traverse our white knuckles relaxed. After a few hours the rising sun revealed fields of watery rice paddies and lush greenery. We found ourselves on fantastic obscure roads that made us ask ourselves, “How on earth did the mapping software even know this road was there?” 

We turned onto a bumpy little village access road to snack on our strawberry Oreos. A farmer herded his cows right past us, both he and his clip-cloppity underlings eyeing us with curiosity. Two foreigners on touring bikes—whatcha doin in these parts? We are far from Hanoi now!

It drizzled today, all grey and misty but who the heck cares—we loved every moment! As we squeezed through a narrow market street in a little unknown town somewhere, the faces of the ladies selling produce lit up with excitement at the sight of us. There’s a distinctly different vibe as we head further from Hanoi. Young people everywhere giggle with happiness and say “Hello! Hello!” when they spot us.

We find unique discoveries when we jump ship from the main road. We stopped at a little spot today and noticed a tree house—literally. This tiny house was either built around a big tree or the big tree grew through the house. It appears very old, and was the cutest little home ever!

Prices are considerably cheaper as we distance ourselves from Hanoi. We spent $2 on lunch, and $33 on a gorgeous hotel room for tonight that includes breakfast. We have a 10th floor room in an hotel across the river from some opulent, gorgeous homes in the city of Phủ Lý.

We are in our happy place—taking the deep dive onto roads less-travelled, eating where locals eat, getting our Xin chào on (Hello in Vietnamese), and endlessly captivated and charmed by whatever reveals itself around the next turn in the road.

We have a Plan. The moment is nigh—tomorrow we must dig deep, put on our Brave Face and take a deep dive into the traffic on our bikes. After careful consideration of life & limb (ours), we have made the wise decision to apply a strategic tip we learned from our friend at home, Helmut. We will execute a middle-of-the-night escape to get the heck outta town before the anarchy of morning traffic madness ensues. In wanting to preview, and assuage some of our road-battle-anxiety we propelled ourselves out of bed at 5am today to see what the streets are like under the cover of early morning darkness. We wandered about, taking inventory of the streets—runners out running, people out hot-potting (still), and restaurant proprietors scrubbing their wares. But it was peaceful and serene. Our Plan is to set the alarm for 3am and go for it—rolling by 4am!

Today we visited the Hỏa Lò Prison Relic, known by American POWs during the Vietnam War as as “Hanoi Hilton”. At times the facility has also incarcerated Vietnamese dissidents and political prisoners who endured cruel, inhumane conditions, severe torture methods and prolonged periods of solitary confinement. Thick walls create dungeon-like cells, walls painted black with tar to further darken the gloom. Cells had leg irons to keep prisoners (mostly the political prisoners) locked in misery day & night, many in complete darkness. The prison was demolished during the 1990s. The pictures speak louder than words.

An individual cell and all its creature comforts.

The primitive toilets which collected the waste in buckets underneath.

The narrow sewage pipe through which some prisoners managed to escape.

The memorial at the Prison.

Everything we have known about cycling through city traffic is tossed right out the window. In preparation, we study. We stand there stunned, watching the movements of cars, trucks motorcycles and people for long periods of time and honestly it gives us the heebies just thinking about riding out of Hanoi on Thursday. Intersections more often than not have no lights or stop signs yet everyone criss-crosses with an ease that totally escapes us. When they do exist, signage and streetlights are merely inconsequential suggestions subject to interpretation. “One-way” streets?—whichever “one-way” you wanna go. We need to learn a new mindset—and right quick! We are newbs in a foreign land. Babes in the woods, really.

Us newbs got hungry. We eyeballed crowds of Vietnamese diners communing around their Hot Pots and we wanted in on that action but being newbs we aren’t sure how to handle the Hot Pot procedure. Instead we went to Train Street, for a different experience. You can sip coffee, slurp noodles or guzzle beer at the train tracks edge. Sitting on itty bitty chairs at an itty bitty table placed tight up against a wall we awaited  beef noodles. Then the whistle blew—the train whistle—the whistle that lurched all the proprietors into action guiding people, chairs & tables back into the three-foot zone against the wall—tuck those hands & feet in, sit upright and hold on to your belonging cuz a train is coming through. The train comes barrelling through and  the whoosh is real—Randy had money sitting on the table and 50,000 VND (Vietnamese Dongs) took flight in one direction and another 100,000 flew the other. Could have been worse. Phew!

We have arrived during Tết, short for Tết Nguyên Đán, which coincides with the Lunar New Year and is the most important celebration in Vietnamese culture. People are out enjoying family time together some dressed in beautiful áo dài—traditional Vietnamese garments. While we adorn our homes with Christmas trees during our holiday season, here it’s the ornamental kumquat tree, representing prosperity and fruitfulness.

We walked around the “old quarter” of Hanoi during our 10km explore. Unique to that section are extremely narrow passageways sandwiched in between big old buildings. They are looooong, and dark, but oh-so-intriguing. Apparently there are little communities living in and beyond those alleyways. Some homes are so deeply embedded in the alleyway that the light of day is never seen.

Jet lag is real and our bodies were dead exhausted after our walkabout. A little “nap” turned into a four-hour convalescing sleep. We have one more day to get a grip on it before we roll out of Hanoi.  Bikes are assembled and ready to roll….now we just need our bodies to do the same.