Distance today: 91km
Total distance to date: 219km
Temperature (max): 29°C
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Randy is the NavCom guy. He operates the Garmin with its previously loaded Vietnam maps. Sometimes it shocks us, successfully taking us down twisty turny itty bitty paths and alleyways. Today it had us squeezing through a crack-in-between-two-buildings that it somehow knew about. Sometimes it lets us down (honestly, it’s rather frequent). Like seriously, just because someone once walked a cow down a dusty, gravelly groove in between two rice paddies, we wouldn’t necessarily qualify it as a navigatable route, but Garmin does! Today we were sent down a road-to-nowhere (again). A man came along on his motorcycle and through a series of hand gestures and charades, he generously invited us to his house. He was one of two separate individuals who in the space of 30 minutes invited us to their homes for some Vietnamese hospitality.

Also on that road-to-nowhere some neighbourhood kids were out just pedalling about and spotted us—and from that moment on they decided they were going where we were going! We became aware that we had a peleton of six Vietnamese children in tow. The “leader” of their little gang was a 12 -year old riding a rickety old bike with a big basket on the front. At one point a few dogs came out to run alongside us too and the kids all picked up speed yelling “Dog! Dog!”  All of us gave ‘er & outran those friendly pooches. The kids & us—we were now a gang of eight. The kids were giggling with delight, laughing & trying hard to keep up. Their leader, the twelve year old, rode alongside us, asking a few simple questions using up what might well be his entire English vocabulary in two questions. When I looked over at him he had the biggest grin on his face, “I. am. happy.” he announced. I let him know “I am happy too!” We ride on a little further, and I could sense he was thrilled to be keeping the pace  I looked over and again with an even bigger smile he repeated, “I. am. happy.” prior to us parting ways.

We got back on route and headed to our final destination, Sam Son.  It’s a beach town and would be our first sighting of the ocean so we pushed the distance today. The last 20 km threw a strong headwind at us that left us wind-whipped & tired. The ocean was there—but there is literally nobody around—empty hotels, empty houses, miles & miles of resorts either vacant or under construction and we can walk down the middle of the road. It has a distinct ghost town feel. We actually wondered if the town had been evacuated for some weird reason?  No matter. We are here for the adventure and We. Are. Happy.

No riding today. We are in Ninh Binh playing tourist at a gorgeous resort planted against a scenic limestone rock face landscape near the village of Ninh Binh. It’s a UNESCO World Heritage site, and surrounding limestone “mountains”, are literally steps from our door. It’s been breezy, overcast, and warm but not hot—it feels just about perfect to be out cruising the water in a slow boat, and climbing into crevices of caves.

Our vessel for navigating the water under the caves was a shallow metal rowboat propelled by a Vietnamese lady who manually rowed us the whole way there and back. She (and the other boat operators) are clearly very adept—they use their legs & feet to expertly manipulate the oars into the desired direction with just the right speed. It makes our leg muscles sore just looking at them. She probably rowed for 90 minutes or more.

One of the places we visited was a temple.  Workers were busy assembling a very large (in both size and quantity) number of what looks like festive paper piñatas resembling royal horseman, elaborately decorated canoes, and other shapes. Colorful vibrant paper adornments were being meticulous applied, and there were lots of them.  It appeared they were preparing for something or someone significant.  We asked a nearby bystander who explained their belief that the afterlife resembles the world of the living, and all these preparations will be burned in order that monks who have previously passed may receive them.

In Buddhism, symbolic offerings are made to “give rise to contemplative gratitude and inspiration”.  Material offerings involve simple objects such as a candles, fruit, flowers, water or drinks. In many locations of worship we have seen these gifts, and more—including instant coffee. (Hey….we both want coffee in our afterlife).

Let’s talk accommodations. We have no itinerary, so each afternoon we pause roadside and use a hotel booking service (Booking.com or Agoda) to find something that suits our mood and we press the “Go” button. We’ve stayed in three different places —Hanoi for $47 a night (no breakfast), Phu Ly for $35 including breakfast for two, and last night for $50 including breakfast—a little pricier due to our touristy location. The rooms have been clean and all have had mini-fridges, kettles, coffee, tea and free bottled water, and king size beds.

Now we let the pictures do the talking.

 

Distance today: 57km
Total distance to date: 128km

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We saw an unassuming barber shop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Just a l’il ol’ space where Randy thought he’d get a quick haircut and be he on his way, zippity zap fast. I mean afterall, what sort of coif can he really even expect? The well-coiffed-himself barber seemed enthusiastic and next thing you know he made a Project out of Randy’s hair. That hair virtuoso set about like Edward Scissorhands, sculpting his masterpiece out of Randy’s abundant hair. Scissors, comb, and clippers were a flyin’! We were both enormously impressed. I go wait outside—should just be a few minutes I’m sure. I peek in and he’s got a straight razor out, and having shaved Randy’s entire face, he’s now meticulously refining the hairline all around his forehead and I’m thinking this guy’s an artist! I return to my waiting spot outside and a short time later I hear Randy, sounding all vulnerable and scared “Anita! Come here—I think he’s cleaning ear wax out of my ears!” Lo ‘n behold, Mr. Hair Virtuoso has a 6-million lumens headlamp on his head, peering into Randy’s ear and what looks like a collection of dental-like instruments in front of him. He’s not only trimming ear hairs but Randy’s not leaving there with ear wax. Swish, scrape, poke, prod, repeat. His fight or flight response was activated and I think he might have been whimpering but won’t admit it. It’s a thing here in Vietnam when you get a proper haircut—don’t flinch! Cost of the Hair Project: $2.75 (plus he gave a $5 tip) Time spent on Project: 1-hour.

Back on the road—the Garmin navigational wizard took us down raised pathways in between rice paddies, along lumpy bumpy footpaths, and through tiny villages that time seems to have forgotten. Cows randomly graze and loiter at the sides of roads, including edges of rice paddies. Two big—pointy-horned bovines entitled themselves to a leisurely rest on both sides of the path we were travelling, too close for our comfort. Are they docile? Maybe. Maybe not. We did a U-turn.

While sitting roadside snacking, a young boy (11-years old) rode by us a few times on his bicycle. The third time he stopped in front of us. “Hello. what. is. your. name?” He asked. Very sweet. We could see he wanted to try out his learned English on those interesting looking foreigners. He rode away and reappeared minutes later “How. old. are. you?” We told him 58 and 63. “Ohhhh. You. are. very. old”. (Try not to laugh) We think he wanted to stay and look at us longer but didn’t know any more English questions to ask. As we were leaving he passed by us again with his baby sister on the back of his bike, likely wanting to show her, too, those foreigners.

PS: Randy thinks he can hear a little better now.

Distance today: 71km
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The heebies melted and the jeebies faded. The Grand Plan delivered! We woke up at 3am and gulped at the prospect of cycling out of Hanoi, both admitting we’ve never been so flippin nervous about a ride. But the streets were gloriously quiet under the cover of sleepy darkness and with each successful intersection-traverse our white knuckles relaxed. After a few hours the rising sun revealed fields of watery rice paddies and lush greenery. We found ourselves on fantastic obscure roads that made us ask ourselves, “How on earth did the mapping software even know this road was there?” 

We turned onto a bumpy little village access road to snack on our strawberry Oreos. A farmer herded his cows right past us, both he and his clip-cloppity underlings eyeing us with curiosity. Two foreigners on touring bikes—whatcha doin in these parts? We are far from Hanoi now!

It drizzled today, all grey and misty but who the heck cares—we loved every moment! As we squeezed through a narrow market street in a little unknown town somewhere, the faces of the ladies selling produce lit up with excitement at the sight of us. There’s a distinctly different vibe as we head further from Hanoi. Young people everywhere giggle with happiness and say “Hello! Hello!” when they spot us.

We find unique discoveries when we jump ship from the main road. We stopped at a little spot today and noticed a tree house—literally. This tiny house was either built around a big tree or the big tree grew through the house. It appears very old, and was the cutest little home ever!

Prices are considerably cheaper as we distance ourselves from Hanoi. We spent $2 on lunch, and $33 on a gorgeous hotel room for tonight that includes breakfast. We have a 10th floor room in an hotel across the river from some opulent, gorgeous homes in the city of Phủ Lý.

We are in our happy place—taking the deep dive onto roads less-travelled, eating where locals eat, getting our Xin chào on (Hello in Vietnamese), and endlessly captivated and charmed by whatever reveals itself around the next turn in the road.

 

We have a Plan. The moment is nigh—tomorrow we must dig deep, put on our Brave Face and take a deep dive into the traffic on our bikes. After careful consideration of life & limb (ours), we have made the wise decision to apply a strategic tip we learned from our friend at home, Helmut. We will execute a middle-of-the-night escape to get the heck outta town before the anarchy of morning traffic madness ensues. In wanting to preview, and assuage some of our road-battle-anxiety we propelled ourselves out of bed at 5am today to see what the streets are like under the cover of early morning darkness. We wandered about, taking inventory of the streets—runners out running, people out hot-potting (still), and restaurant proprietors scrubbing their wares. But it was peaceful and serene. Our Plan is to set the alarm for 3am and go for it—rolling by 4am!

Today we visited the Hỏa Lò Prison Relic, known by American POWs during the Vietnam War as as “Hanoi Hilton”. At times the facility has also incarcerated Vietnamese dissidents and political prisoners who endured cruel, inhumane conditions, severe torture methods and prolonged periods of solitary confinement. Thick walls create dungeon-like cells, walls painted black with tar to further darken the gloom. Cells had leg irons to keep prisoners (mostly the political prisoners) locked in misery day & night, many in complete darkness. The prison was demolished during the 1990s. The pictures speak louder than words.

Everything we have known about cycling through city traffic is tossed right out the window. In preparation, we study. We stand there stunned, watching the movements of cars, trucks motorcycles and people for long periods of time and honestly it gives us the heebies just thinking about riding out of Hanoi on Thursday. Intersections more often than not have no lights or stop signs yet everyone criss-crosses with an ease that totally escapes us. When they do exist, signage and streetlights are merely inconsequential suggestions subject to interpretation. “One-way” streets?—whichever “one-way” you wanna go. We need to learn a new mindset—and right quick! We are newbs in a foreign land. Babes in the woods, really.

Us newbs got hungry. We eyeballed crowds of Vietnamese diners communing around their Hot Pots and we wanted in on that action but being newbs we aren’t sure how to handle the Hot Pot procedure. Instead we went to Train Street, for a different experience. You can sip coffee, slurp noodles or guzzle beer at the train tracks edge. Sitting on itty bitty chairs at an itty bitty table placed tight up against a wall we awaited  beef noodles. Then the whistle blew—the train whistle—the whistle that lurched all the proprietors into action guiding people, chairs & tables back into the three-foot zone against the wall—tuck those hands & feet in, sit upright and hold on to your belonging cuz a train is coming through. The train comes barrelling through and  the whoosh is real—Randy had money sitting on the table and 50,000 VND (Vietnamese Dongs) took flight in one direction and another 100,000 flew the other. Could have been worse. Phew!

We have arrived during Tết, short for Tết Nguyên Đán, which coincides with the Lunar New Year and is the most important celebration in Vietnamese culture. People are out enjoying family time together some dressed in beautiful áo dài—traditional Vietnamese garments. While we adorn our homes with Christmas trees during our holiday season, here it’s the ornamental kumquat tree, representing prosperity and fruitfulness.

We walked around the “old quarter” of Hanoi during our 10km explore. Unique to that section are extremely narrow passageways sandwiched in between big old buildings. They are looooong, and dark, but oh-so-intriguing. Apparently there are little communities living in and beyond those alleyways. Some homes are so deeply embedded in the alleyway that the light of day is never seen.

Jet lag is real and our bodies were dead exhausted after our walkabout. A little “nap” turned into a four-hour convalescing sleep. We have one more day to get a grip on it before we roll out of Hanoi.  Bikes are assembled and ready to roll….now we just need our bodies to do the same.

We breathed a sigh of relief upon actually boarding the plane, the $471 Vietnam Visa Fiasco still fresh in our minds. We were grateful for the miracle of not losing our flight altogether. The ticketing agents witnessed the Randy & Anita team lose both our minds and our seat selections in the ordeal (they had genuine looks of empathy) and they assigned us new better seats for the 16-hour first flight and then re-assigned us to Premium Economy for the Taipei to Hanoi flight. My $471 Visa wasn’t a real one, but rather some sort of “temporary” thingy allowing me passage out of Toronto. Upon arrival in Hanoi I was to disembark and rendezvous-vous with a special person who would hold up a card with my name on it and he’d sort it out. Through the crowd I spotted him—and like a Chariots of Fire scene I ran toward him in slow motion, glee all over my face and imaginary music propelling me, fuelled by delirious delight that he actually materialized.  Anticipating a lengthy sequence of events to follow, imagine our surprise when he escorted us right past the crowded Customs lineups, straight to the “Diplomats” which was darn near empty. We felt like VIPs! The agent looked at me, looked at my passport—stamp stamp, and I’m done, free to explore Vietnam!  I looked back at the hundreds still in lineups and thought—well, at least we got something for that $471 dollars.

Bing bang boom—we claimed our baggage and 15 seconds later a taxi driver was shoving our bikes and gear into his SUV and we were on the road to our hotel. Cars honkin’, motor-bikes swervin’, passin’ on the right, passin’ on the left, zig-zaggin’ it, and close your eyes cuz you don’t want to see how close we came—we’ll need some time to study this traffic chaos.

We’ve got time. We are here for three nights in a quiet little hideaway down a side-alley. Suddenly the time change hit us right smack between the eyes and we were exhausted from the 30 hour journey to get here. But not too exhausted that we didn’t venture out for a sneak peek of what’s in store in Hanoi. Plus logistics—we needed food—so Randy got some noodles and we both chowed down on a Bánh mì, then sourced out some beautiful baked pastries for brekky. It feels weird handing over 60 ,000 units of Viet-money but hey—it only translates to a little over $3 dollars so we’re good.

A little nighttime tour of the area confirms it—food is a thing here (too!) as it was in Thailand, street exploration is like digging through a treasure chest and we are in for a wheelie grand adventure.